


Homesmut One-Shots

by Homesmut99



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Consensual, Earth C, F/F, F/M, Smut, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-16 19:13:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homesmut99/pseuds/Homesmut99
Summary: A series of smut one-shots for Homestuck





	1. JadeDave

It felt like a fire was burning between her legs as Jade walked with Dave through the streets of the Troll Kingdom wearing nothing underneath her god tier dress. Of course some of the trolls noticed she wasn’t wearing her tights, but you’d be mad to think that they would question a goddess. As she walked, she felt a drip run down her leg.

“Dave!” she whimpered, “This is so embarrassing!”

“C’mon, we’re almost home. You can get dressed again and sulk all you want when we get there,” Dave replied.

Jade crossed her arms and stuck out her lip, but kept walking despite her wet heat. “At least you have pants you can wear.”

“Hey, don’t you think the trolls can recognize a human bulge when they see one? I mean, come on, even their biological babes have tentabulges or whatever, and in case you haven’t noticed – which I’m sure you have – I’m rocking one motherfucker of a boner.”

Jade giggled at that. “I suppose that is true.”

The couple returned to their home, and made their way upstairs to their bedroom. Jade opened up a drawer and pulled out a pair of her black and grey striped tights. She held them up for a moment, made a face, and put them back.

“What’s the matter?” Dave asked from the other side of the room.

“Were you watching me?” Jade smirked.

“Well of course. We’re a thing now. Closest thing to married besides Rose and Kanaya. I’m allowed to watch my heavenly wife get dressed.” Dave smiled in a way that could almost be considered mischievous.

“Well, heavenly husband, what shall we do right now? It is not like we have any pressing obligations.”

“Well, I can tell you what I’d like to do right now, but you wanted to get home and get dressed.”

Jade picked up the pair of tights again and looked at the drawer filled with identical ones. She then threw the undergarment at Dave’s face. “Fuck clothes!”

“Yes.”

Jade stepped out of her dress. “Fuck you!”

“Hell yes.”

Jade pulled Dave really close. “And fuck me!”

“Hell fucking yes.”

Those were Dave’s last words before Jade pulled him into an intimate kiss. She kicked off her shoes as Dave pulled the hood off her head. They crossed over to the bed where Jade began pulling at Dave’s clothes. They broke the kiss while Dave removed his shirt. He reengaged the kiss, pressing his tongue into her mouth. He pulled at his waistband and removed his pants. He slid off his shoes as he slid on top of Jade on the bed.

“Is this the part where you do something witch-ey to make this more interesting?” he whispered.

Jade giggled and snapped her fingers. Over the course of a few seconds, Jade’s body became his world. Her stomach was the land he stood on, her breasts were mountains in the distance. Her labia was a moist canyon. Those features are what Dave chose to focus on, because the others included her legs bent unnaturally above him, and her arms and head interlocking with them to complete the sphere. The sphere expanded and expanded until it seemed as if the whole universe was her, yet, paradoxically, she was a body in the universe. And what a body she was! They were now floating over the roof of their house. A few trolls, aware that their goddess had exercised her power, looked up, but they quickly averted their eyes. All except a few who could not help but watch their gods in glorious intercourse. Dave thrust his member into her, and she wrapped her legs around him, leaving him just enough room to continue pumping. After a few more thrusts, Jade moaned and let her upper body fall backwards. Green lightning arced across the sky as she orgasmed, but Dave kept going. Jade pulled herself back up and dug into Dave’s back as he mounted her, panting. She arched her back a final time, letting out her last orgasm as Dave finally came inside her. As he ejaculated, time around the planet stopped except himself and Jade.

They descended and entered their bedroom through the window and lighted on their bed. Dave crawled on top of her and kissed her breasts, giving each one equal attention and massaging the one on which his mouth was not. After a few moments of this, Jade turned around and began licking the leftover semen off Dave’s tip. Dave took advantage of this position to suck on her vagina. As they both lapped up each other’s fluids and moaned, time slowly started up again. The trolls who were watching were surprised to see their gods vanished, but figured it was simply the mysterious powers of their divine superiors.

“You taste great, Dave!” Jade giggled after a long time of them resting and snuggling.

“Heh. Not too bad yourself, Harley.”

“Or am I Strider now, husband?” She giggled again at the word.

“Nah. If anything I’m a Harley. I’d rather be associated with that name than with Strider.” Dave regarded his abusive guardian with a mixture of contempt and saudade. “So… what do we do now?”

“I like this, what we’re doing right now.” Jade shifted closer to Dave, resting her head on his chest.

“Then let’s do this.” Dave smiled and took off his sunglasses, burying his face in his wife’s hair.


	2. Rosemary

“So, Kanaya, let’s play a game,” Rose said in her typical deep yet distinctly feminine voice. “First you take off your shirt–”

“Why must every game start with me taking off my shirt?” Kanaya groaned with a similarly deep yet somehow more feminine voice.

“Because your abdominal hole is fun to play with!”

“Mhm. And it has nothing to do with the fact that trolls do not wear bras?”

“Well, maybe that too.” Rose smiled. “But hey, we’re married, right?”

“So you keep reminding me,” Kanaya sighed.

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Or if you want to play but don’t want to be half-naked, you can always borrow one of my bras.”

“You know, Rose, it has been a while since I have seen you half-naked. Or entirely naked. In fact, I think you have seen me fully naked since I have seen you so.”

“Ugh. I walk in on you taking a shower one time!” Rose giggled. Suddenly, she grabbed her head and fell back onto the couch.

“Are you okay? The visions again?”

“Yes… I need to talk to John about those sometime soon. And see a doctor.”

“You know Jane has healing powers, right?”

“Yes… but… I–”

“I see. In that case, did you know that orgasms release chemicals in your brain that can relieve stress and headaches?”

“Yes, Kanaya, but that only applies to human brains and I’m the one who told you that.”

Kanaya leaned in really close. “Let me help you get rid of that headache, Rose.”

Rose’s heart was beating fast, both because of the headache and because of her wife’s proximity. “Well, if you insist–”

Kanaya pulled Rose into a hot kiss, their tongues instantly intertwining in a dance they had practiced many times. As they kissed, Kanaya rubbed Rose where, on a troll, the grub scars would be. Rose smiled and moved her hands up to her breasts. Kanaya giggled and massaged her supple glands. Rose reached under Kanaya’s shirt and put her hand through her abdominal hole. “You really are fascinated by my hole, aren’t you?”

“I wish you were so fascinated with my hole.” Rose smirked mischievously.

Kanaya took the hint and started grinding her hips into Rose’s. Rose, with her hands already under Kanaya’s shirt, pulled upwards and removed the top, revealing the glowing troll body. She saw a jade-colored tip writhing up from under her skirt’s waist line. Rose bent down and kissed it, causing it to wriggle back into hiding and a moan to come from her wife. Rose pulled up her shirt and revealed her pasty white body. Kanaya kissed Roses naval and licked down to her crotch. She pulled pants and panties down in one quick motion and discovered her twitching labia. Kanaya pulled down her skirt and sidled up next to Rose. Suddenly, her tentacle entered her, making Rose squeak and turn red. Kanaya wriggled her sex inside Rose’s, making Rose squirm with delight. Rose began clawing and squeezing at Kanaya’s breasts.

“Cum in me, please! Fill me up!” Rose squealed.

“Come on, Rose. Trolls have to fill an entire bucket. Making it into your womb should be a cinch!” Kanaya grinned.

Kanaya began thrusting, working her tentacle around inside Rose vigorously. Rose rubbed her clit as she allowed her whole body to bounce as Kanaya pounded her. Kanaya then leaned over Rose, stopping her thrusting but wriggling the tentacle like there’s no tomorrow. Kanaya placed her hands on Rose’s breasts. “Tell me, what do your Seer eyes see?”

Rose closed her eyes and saw visions of Kanaya serving as Karkat’s moirail, and being her own matesprit, even seeing her auspisticising with Terezi and Gamzee. “I see your golden heart, Kanaya.”

Kanaya blushed and felt herself become extra sensitive. With this extra sensitivity, she felt herself orgasming, which was just as well as Rose felt herself on the edge as well. They both spewed fluids all over each other, Rose soaking Kanaya’s chest, and Kanaya filling Rose’s insides and leaking out onto her thighs. Kanaya pulled out and laid next to her wife on the bed, jade fluid still oozing out of her tentacle.

“This doesn’t mean I’m going to get pregnant with a half-human baby, right?” Rose asked, turning her head towards Kanaya. “Not that that’d be a bad thing, I just am _not_ ready to be a mom yet.”

“No, that’s not how troll reproduction works. We give only a very minute amount of genetic material which is combined with everyone else’s genetic material.” Kanaya turned to spoon Rose. “But I do like the idea of you having my baby.”

This time Rose blushed and felt the juices oozing out of her. She turned to become the little spoon. She put her fingers to her labia and took some of Kanaya’s genetic material to her mouth. “You know, Kan. You taste really good.”

Kanaya smiled warmly at the back of her wife’s head and hugged her close. Her tentacle began playing around the edge of Rose’s anus, but quit after a swift reprimand: “Not yet.”


End file.
